Boy has things been arising to strip me of my peace! In these moments I dig deep in myself and push through. I rely on faith, guided by meditation and prayer to face the day’s task. Yet, no amount of peace seeking can deter you from adversity. I am getting through my experience of facing adversity with a focus on tender love and care.
Allowing myself to flow through a circumstance with tenderness is how I worked through adversity. When I showed up soft, gentle, able to move and flow with the adversity I was facing a new kind of power opened within me. For instance Sophia receives nursing care, which means people coming into my home and learning our routines and daily rhythm. I try my best to be grateful and welcoming. This transition always requires tact and careful handling. Because we are all human you get different personalities coming into your home that can make the healing process easier or harder. I feel by being more vulnerable and delicate with myself in this time I had the easiest experience receiving help from nursing care. It takes faith from a believing to a knowing sense that all is well and will be well. It’s not easy at first, yet the more I showed tenderness to myself, to others to my circumstance I no longer feared the outcome. I was sure the experience was positive and progressive.
Actively saying yes to experiences and people in your life is a lens of love. We all go through experiences that are note easy to understand, especially when another person actions are saying no. I decided to instead love myself, heal myself with reflecting and honestly facing flaws. I did this not from a place to fix it in order to be perfect, but to be more loving. It has grown my work in self-love tremendously. I am learning to accept the love I get from all experiences and people, to accept when people say no to growing experiences of life with me. It’s ok to love them from a distance. It’s ok to want them there even if they do not show up. I had to realize the absences of someone in my life or in certain life experiences did not take away from my value. I also accepted that I did not have to value them any less. This shift in understanding gave me an easier pathway to forgiving myself and forgiving others. It’s a daily practice and I’m working to grow my love and understanding of love.
Caring is an active practice of looking after those unable to care for themselves. It can also be explained as displaying kindness and concern for others. I think we all hope someone cares for us, will be kind to us and cover us in our time of need. I admit I struggle with self-care the most. It comes natural for me to support and show concern for what people are going through. I’m always looking for ways I can help be part of the solution. It’s a way of being connected, and I want my friends and family to know I am concerned and want the best for them. It leaves me struggling with caring for myself. When is self- care mandatory? How do I ensure there is enough kindness and concern for myself? I think especially being a caregiver long term this is something I grapple with. I deal with so much guilt at times for taking moments to myself. I pull on the tribe around me to check in, or if I reach out I make sure I am ok in that way as well. I am learning to make self-care a part of everyday. It’s sometimes as simple as making myself coffee, or going for a walk. Taking the time to acknowledge my own needs is a practice I am fostering and growing each day.
The past month has not been easy. I’m grateful to say I’m growing through it rather than just going through it. I always appreciate the love shown to me by my family and friends. You all just don’t know how our connections empower me and pull me through. Most importantly I am proud to use all adversity for growth. I thank God for the courage to share my thoughts and the strength to keep pushing forward.